The Sunset

What a beautiful sunset exclaimed Reshma who had come to the terrace to collect dry clothes. She came to the edge of the wall and the cool breeze mesmerized her. She could notice the birds on nearby trees making unique noises. It almost felt like she was getting in touch with a part of herself which was lost. Yes, lost to self, in the rush of coping with the ups and downs of her life.....

For the past one year, she had no time to take note of her surroundings. It felt like she was living out of her own mind, engrossed in anger, fear, guilt and anxiety for her future.

She was coping with her separation, caring for her daughter as a single parent, working at a private firm to support the economic needs and household chores. Not just that. She was constantly dealing with snide remarks by relatives, advise by friends, neighbors and relatives. Today's sunset was saying something to her, breeze was whispering in her ears...are good days on their way? she wondered.

The peace and calmness of that evening was disturbed by her daughter's calling. She was looking for her as it was time for her tuition classes. Reshma came back to reality and quickly collected the clothes and went down to deal with her daily routine. 

After dropping her daughter off at tuition class, she picked up vegetables for the dinner and got busy with cooking. Today, her mind started reflecting on her life. She was living with her elder sister's family, post her separation. She had a job and had to support her only daughter who was eight. The responsibility and future uncertainties would make her shudder most of the time. She felt hopeless mostly.

Her husband Vineet's picture came to her mind and she felt mixed feelings. He was a kind person and she always felt he loved her. However, in the entire commotion of family drama, she had forgotten to notice all of it clearly. She could not have a clear opinion about Vineet still. She was married 9 years ago and had her daughter one year after marriage. As she was living with Vineet's family, there was hardly any time for the couple to get to know each other well. Vineet fulfilled all the obligations of a husband as he earned and provided for the family. He would not interfere in the daily household affairs which were controlled by his mother. Dynamics between his mother, sister and wife were beyond his thinking. He always tried to ignore it till it became unbearable. His usual response would be to leave home and come back later when all are asleep. Next day, he would leave early trying to keep himself off the fights.

Knowing his nature, Reshma would initially leave him out and tried to cope with it herself. However, when things were getting out of control, she wanted Vineet to side with her, as she knew she was right. Vineet however, did not want to have anything to do with what he thought "Women's catfights". This pushed Reshma to depression. She was lost. Her sister Tara was her only solace in this. She would dish out her daily frustrations with her over phone. Tara would counsel her and ask her to be strong and not give into the demands of her in laws. When Reshma was in psychological distress, Tara decided to take Reshma to her own place and support her till domestic issues got sorted out at Vineet's place.

However, this step was viewed as extreme by Vineet's family and they asked Vineet to cut all ties with Reshma who did this to malign their family pride. Vineet silently followed the decree of his mother, whom he never talked back even once. 

Reshma was in the midst of an uncertain future. She had no way of knowing what Vineet felt. She was upset with him for not fighting for her and their only daughter. She had no respect left for him. Her sister Tara and her family were kind to her and took care of her and daughter well. She felt indebted to them and would go to any extent to serve them. She would mostly engage herself in all the household chores and ensured her sister had sufficient time to rest after work while she herself would slog.

Almost a year had passed in this condition and Reshma almost felt shut out from the outside world. Today's sunset had woken her up. 

She cannot let days pass like this. She was not going to be a silent spectator to her own life passing by.  She had to take charge and make things happen. For that, she need to know what she wants first. Currently her wants were so mangled up with that of what her sister wants, what society wants etc, that she could not think clearly.

She needed some space, some quiet hours, a pen and a notepad to download her own thoughts that were clogged in her mind. That night, she put her daughter to sleep and then sat with her notepad and pen. She did not know where to start or what to write. Unconsciously her fingers moved and she wrote "A peaceful, fulfilled life with family"

Yes, she had to fight for her family which is Vineet, her daughter Vibha and herself. She had no idea how to fulfill this. Thinking deep, she fell asleep. Next morning she completed her housework and dropped her daughter to school. When she reached her workplace, she smiled at the girl in the reception consciously. She noticed the girl in the reception had a picture of cute girl on her desk. She stopped to ask about her and was happy to note that Receptionist Salma's daughter Zara too was 8 years old. 

During the lunch hour, she thought of being a bit more engaged with her colleagues than usual. She always had a mask on her as she feared the colleagues may get into unnecessary details of her personal life. Today, she felt the need to open up. She paid attention to what others were saying. Nisha as usual was sharing her travel stories which other's listened with envy. Lola was sharing her boyfriend stories while Smitha generously shared her recipies. That would leave Reshma and Sara out from most of the active conversations and they were relieved.

Today Reshma engaged Sara in a conversation regarding her daughter and Sara seemed very happy to share some beautiful moments she shares with her daughter and she seemed very pleased. Reshma too shared about her son's favourite games and the team quickly finished their lunch.

On her way back Reshma tried to catch a glimpse of the sunset from the bus. She felt a kind of a friendship between them. Setting sun seem to have challenged her for exploring more from her life. She felt ready for persuing this challenge. 

Along with purchasing vegetables in the market, this time, she purchased a note pad and pen. She wanted to jot down her feelings and what is her possible way out from this situation. This created a kind of excitement in her body and she felt new energy pumping into her. Her mind was fully focused on creating a new reality for her and her family....

Waves of change were splashing her shore now, she could feel it deep in her being. Will she be bold enough to ride those waves and create a new reality? Wait for the next episode of this story....