Love blooms & fades within contexts

Love blooms & fades within contexts

Human beings require air, water and food to survive is a fact known to all.

In addition, "humans are social beings". Relationships, love and affection make us flourish while the opposite makes us lose interest in living.

Imagine a world where a human lives without a name, title or possession. It is almost impossible. Every new born member of our society is given a name, surname and identity is officially proven. As the new born grows, society provides opportunities for it to enlarge the identity through an education, career, family, friends group etc. We all have lived that way and reached where we are. We have our own identities and social circles to which we belong. Upward mobility is always aspired for while any downward trends are frowned upon and automatically affects our self-esteem. 

Now, I am referring to how love and relationships get built within a specific context. When we make friends, we do look at their profiles. Sometimes it is difficult to trace whether friendship happened first or the profile match. We make conscious decisions, rational choices in terms of whom to fall in love with, whom to befriend and whom to ignore. Sometimes we have heard two persons with nothing in common fall in love and get married and we say love is blind. However, once that strong attraction or attachment breaks, even the so called loving couple starts wondering what just happened.

We have also seen attraction between people stem because of social status, money, power, designations, physical attraction etc. We are also witness to such attractions fall apart when the persons who represented these very qualities lose them at a later stage due to any reasons. Few who continue to be still in love are considered special or super humans. 

Reflecting back on life, I too feel played by such identities. I would prefer to make some assumptions here rather than conclude as life keeps evolving every minute and there is nothing certain here.

When a friend confided in me saying when she chose her life partner, the social and professional circle to which he belonged made a big difference. She did not realize it while she made her decisions, rather it struck her when she was no more attracted to him when he was out of that social and professional circle. 

Experiencing and hearing of several such incidents, I was introspecting on the power of relationships and I coined this quote,  "Love blooms and fades within contexts". 

Next time when you get attracted to someone in power, keep asking yourself is this the person or the person's identity that you are falling for. Can you really love a person without considering the context of that person. Is this a good thing or is it manipulative? Is there ever something called as true love/ pure love? Are we all not calculative and take measured risks and look for higher and better returns on our energy investment? I think it is Management. And management is not a bad word at all. What do you say?

Enjoy the Journey!

Recently I had to take a trip to my native place in Mangalore from Bangalore which is about 350 KM by road. The route through Western Ghats is beautiful if you are traveling during day time. I had taken the night bus and the heavy rains for the past months had worsened the road condition.

I could hardly sleep due to the wobbling and honking. Though I was very familiar with this route, at one point, I could not hold my curiosity and got up and looked out of the window. It was dark  and I could see the shadows of tall trees. Though the road was hardly visible, I could assess the condition by the way the bus was moving. With heavy rains, bad roads and poor visibility, the driver was doing his best to prevent any accident. Added to that the narrow winding roads were dense with heavy vehicle traffic.

Being behind the wheels for a few years now, I could empathize with the driver. I too sent out a silent prayer for our safe journey, which usually I would take it for granted. The task was mammoth for the driver. Then my attention shifted from the road and the commotion around me to the sound and speed with which I could gauge the temperament of the driver. Sitting at the back, I had no clue about the driver.  I was sure it was he because female drivers on a night bus was not a common sight on these routes.

What I could gauge from the driving style was that the driver was practicing utmost patience and care while navigating this tough road. He was controlling speed, trying to be under control within extent possible and cautioning other's by honking about his presence. Yet, whenever he would find that brief patch of good road, he would quickly change his pace and use his natural pace of smooth & speed driving and I could say he truly enjoyed that stretch....yet within a few minutes the road would once more change its characteristics and pose the previous challenge, once more forcing him to get back to his cautious mode.

Yet, I felt he was comfortable with both modes.  He accepted both types of roads and situations equally welcoming and had no qualms about driving on them. It is almost like he had no preferences. He was ready for all types of challenges and was doing his best to do a perfect job in both conditions. There was a kind of serenity in what he did.

My thoughts moved back to life in general. We all have to cross paths that are smooth as well as rugged and challenging. There are some of us, who have developed preference to the smooth roads and the moment we find the rugged roads, we start cursing, swearing, hating and wanting to get out of that stretch as fast as possible. That affects the quality of our driving. It affects those who we have agreed to ferry with us. It affects the quality of life of them too. Yet there are those who accept all types of roads, try to do their best at both. No preferences what so ever. The fact that they have made the choice of driving, they take it as a given that the roads ought to be challenging sometime and are willing to show same amount of skill, restraint and patience to make the journey for themselves and those around them smooth and safe.

Happiness belongs with those like the driver in that bus. I said a silent prayer of gratitude for having such a wonderful driver that night. I wish his tribe grows!